“There shall never man handle this sword…and Launcelot with this sword shall slay the man that in the world he loved best, that shall be Sir Gawaine.”
Le Morte D’Arthur, Sir Thomas Malory
When Gawain was still a fledgling knight and Lancelot hadn’t even entered the picture, Merlin delivered this dire prophecy about their destiny. The purpose of this scene/line was to tell the reader that Lancelot thought Gawain was really great, and so Malory could get away with never explaining why Lancelot liked Gawain so much in the first place.
Why DID Lancelot have a thing for Gawain? And why did Gawain hang around Lancelot?
Lancelot began life as a tiny French add-in to the Arthurian legends that had already existed for about 8 centuries. He was only the fourth (or so) strongest among the knights of Camelot, so he obviously admired the #1 champion of the Round Table. Namely Gawain.
Other than the the admiration Lancelot held for the older, better knight, and the kindness Gawain showed to the newcomer, they didn’t have any relationship whatsoever.
As the centuries took their toll and both Gawain and Lancelot changed, their interactions changed.
They began interacting as equals, and when Lancelot emerged as the top dog of Camelot, the frenemy relationship we know and love was born.
None of this tells us why Lancelot likes Gawain though. If anything, he should hate the old #1 for not retiring and leaving the spotlight all together. Why wouldn’t he give his attention to Arthur, the king and friend he swore fealty to, instead of the random Scottish nephew?
Returning to Merlin’s quote from Le Morte D’Arthur, Lancelot and Gawain are intrinsically linked in a tragic fate. We know that both knights are immensely powerful, and both are driven by fierce loyalty and love. The giant slash in their similarities is that their loyalty and love are to very different things.
Lancelot loves Gawain because Gawain is a mirror showing Lancelot what he could be.
Lancelot is famous as the knight who was loyal to love. He loved Arthur in his own way and was loyal up to a point. When Guinevere entered the picture and Lancelot fell in love, his loyalties changed. He loved Guinevere to the point of blindness, even growing to hate himself for the shamefulness of what he was doing behind his king’s back. Nonetheless, he never faltered in what has become his core character trait. Lancelot was loyal to Eros, to erotic, romantic love.
Gawain, on the other hand, was intensely attached to his family. He rose to fight more over insults to his family than for any other reason during his long career. He never faltered in his loyalty to Arthur, his Uncle, while he wasn’t blind to the faults of his brothers (he often called them out on failings) he would give his all to protect them when the occasion arose. Gawain was loyal to Storge, familial love and long standing affection.
Lancelot’s admiration for Gawain stemmed just as much from his own self-hatred as it did from actual affection. He saw in Gawain(and in the purity of love the other knight valued) everything that he wanted. Lancelot wanted to have Guinevere in the right way, to marry her and have a proper relationship with her. Gawain never had much success in romance (his wives always disappeared after a few years) but what he had was good. He could talk about his love anywhere, without being afraid of it being judged. Lancelot could never speak of Guinevere, it was steeped in treachery and corrupted in comparison.
Lancelot and Gawain both made horrible mistakes because of their loyalties that ultimately caused the downfall of Camelot.
Lancelot valued his love for Guinevere above the lives of the people that would suffer when Camelot fell. He killed people that had fought by his side and welcomed him into their fold. Lancelot didn’t hestitate to kill even Gareth, who had done nothing but admire and adore him. (Malory claims this is because Lancelot didn’t recognize Gareth, but Gareth wasn’t wearing armor, it would have been obvious who he was) He spends the rest of his life grieving over what his addiction to Eros caused him do.
Gawain, in comparison, lost his mind when Storge was wounded. He didn’t kick up a fuss when Lancelot killed Agravain and his three sons because he viewed it as an honorable fight of life or death. Lancelot was in a kill or be killed situation that he had warned both Agravain and his sons to stay out of. He mourned for his children and brother, but he put it aside as a necessary evil. Plus, he probably thought he’d never have to deal with Lancelot ever again after the french knight fled
When Lancelot straight up murdered the majority of Gawain’s family though, that was a different story. Gawain went into shock (Malory states that he “swooned”) and urged Arthur to attack in retaliation.
The rest is history. Gawain died for Storge, but on his death bed, realized he was wrog and sent an letter to Lancelot.
By the time the letter reached Lancelot, the prophecy was fulfilled. Lancelot had killed the man he loved best and was left to wallow in grief and guilt for the remainder of his life.
I’m not ABOUT to get involved in the debate over whether Lancelot’s love for Gawain was platonic or romantic, (to be fair, Lancelot’s bi-sexuality is almost canon, and so is Gawain’s). All I have to say on the matter is that regardless of what type of love Lancelot had for Gawain, it was a powerful thing that has shaped their characterizations since Malory first wrote Merlin’s prophecy.
The tragedy of how Sir Lancelot loved Sir Gawain, and how it destroyed them both.
Madness and Arthuriana 
I love this relationship so much. Whether one views it as platonic or romantic, it’s so interesting! I really like the idea of them as a couple, because I’m all about tragic murder-husbands. 🙂 But they work really well as friends, too! They’re both such compelling characters, and they work excellently as foils for each other.
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I agree with you whole-heartedly. The interplay between the two characters is so dynamic and fascinating, they almost write themselves. I love them so much.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it 🙂
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